During our lives we can only know one thing for sure – we don’t know exactly what’s going to happen but lots of stuff will!
When big stuff happens, we need to be able to adjust accordingly. Even small stuff can take some getting used to.
We often associate negative events with difficulty and positive events with happiness.
The truth is, we can take time to adjust to anything. It’s totally normal to need to adapt and get your head around things! Even something that’s amaaazing!
While your mind takes time to process the change, you may notice the following:
It’s a rollercoaster!
Good news: for mild-moderate changes the rollercoaster is likely to only last a short time, just while the new information sinks in and you gather evidence that the change is good.
For example… A couple of years ago I bought a new car. My old one had high mileage, it was not very fuel efficient, and it was due an expensive service. I decided to upgrade to a newer car! I researched a lot and I knew exactly what I wanted; then, one sunny Tuesday I sealed the deal.
I picked the car up and I felt excited! Ooh all new and fancy! Then I drove to work the next day… it felt different to my other car. The reverse gear wasn’t the same. My radio stations weren’t programmed in. The seat felt hard. Oh no… what had I done?
I realised it wasn’t quite making sense given the amount of thought I had put into the decision 🙃 I programmed my favourite stations. I adjusted my seat. I focused on all the reasons why I bought the car I bought, and sold the car I sold. And gradually over a few days everything settled down!
Bigger events like moving house can shake us up a bit. There can be a lot of excitement around this time, as well as stress due to packing (oh man, I know this well!). You move in, it’s all fine. Then… Oh this isnt my usual bedroom, my stuff is all in different places 🙈
Our mind gets used to what it knows. Our emotions settle where we are. It can feel a bit like a jumble when there’s a change!
My tips to manage these times are:
- Remember its normal to have mixed emotions at these times
- Remind yourself of the context related to the change, including the reasoning behind it
- Do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable e.g. personalising your surroundings, merging the familiar with the new
- Focus on the positives related to the change
- Have patience with yourself
- Have faith in the change
- Remain hopeful about the future; think about how the change can best work for you – remember we cannot always control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to it
Sometimes changes are out of our control, but remembering that you can empower yourself to manage certain aspects can help a lot!
Dig deep, you’ll be alright.